JIMROCK INC. presents

Will you do the same thing in 2012?

Your parents demanded revolution too but they ended up accepting this.

There is no other cheese in the world that can make a bun stick to a beef patty better than American Cheese. Nothing else melts like this shit, you can’t simulate it with anything else. It glistens like freedom. Yes, it is “cheese” in that it is actually mostly vegetable oil but only assholes think putting expensive cheese on burgers is the way to go.

American Cheese maintains the subtle essence of cheese, while not running interference on the receiver, medium rare high quality beef. You can keep your glorified bun salads, the path to divinity is clear and it is ketchup, mayonaise, onion, pickles and American Cheese on a bun made with refined flour. Everything in balance and moderation of course but when you eat a cheeseburger, eat a fucking cheeseburger.

American cheese also has texture centric uses in casseroles, macaroni and cheese and anything else that deserves a solid dose of creamy American Ingenuity. One must be careful in the administration of vegetable oil based cheeses however. More than 2 slices in any 24 hour period will likely block up the works.

Josh Kirby, Wyrd Sisters cover

Greenman by Deran Wright

Bronze Sculpture by Deran Wright

My morning looks like this, a little less methy than Willie’s setup but you get the picture.

Elements of a Fine Morning:

• A proper sleep, at least 9 hours.
• A healthy bowel movement.
• Fresh ground coffee in a french press.
• A spliff consisting of 85% Sativa dominant cannabis and 15% Peter Stokkebye’s Turkish Export tobacco, handwrapped fat as a gorilla’s middle finger in a Raw King with a “W” crutch.
• A small existential crisis, intentionally provoked, centering oneself for the day.
• An acknowledgement of one’s sovereignty. Self-examination and the shedding of the trappings of majority culture.
• A mental simulation, going over the day’s future events in your mind, turning them over, searching for opportunity and new possibilities.
• A visualization of the days eminent and possible conversations, simulating important ones before they happen, saving the good one liners and quips for the real conversation.
• A good look in the mirror.
• Another healthy bowel movement if you’re lucky.

“Oh, you know all about Tarot and the Tree of Life and how to get high on Weed. You dig the latest in art and music and film. You’re fuckin’ HIP, baby. But what about the left brain? Do you know anything about that, melon head?”

-Robert Anton Wilson, Reality Is What You Can Get Away With

Hypothesis: The more you trip, the more you make questionable garment purchases involving fractals.

No one escapes this cliche, here is Carl Jung in a stupid hat.

Oh really, the keys to the universe, available from a man in a dreamcatcher tee shirt.